There are vastly different reasons and manifestations in those with NPD and those with BPD that are different in causation or origin and that are also different in the roles that they play in the pathological dysfunctional structures of each personality disorder. (Masterson)

To gain a clearer perspective of narcissism it is important to be aware of its source. The source of what causes narcissism in people is not the same for all people who are narcissistic. The same is true of the ways in which narcissism is manifested within the various syndromes or disorders on the spectrum of narcissism. Depending upon the source the disorder in personality may manifest as NPD, or BPD, and/or other personality disorders.

“The common use of the term narcissism refers to some of the ways people defend themselves against this narcissistic dynamic: a concern with one’s own physical and social image, a preoccupation with one’s own thoughts and feelings, and a sense of grandiosity. There are, however, many other behaviors that can stem from narcissistic concerns, such as immersion in one’s own affairs to the exclusion of others, an inability to empathize with others’ experience, interpersonal rigidity, an insistence that one’s opinions and values are “right,” and a tendency to be easily offended and take things personally.” (Wikipedia)

In BPD versus NPD, aside from the varying degrees of experienced and manifested narcissism, the points at which early childhood psychological and developmental arrests occur and the reasons for these narcissistic injuries are not all the same. They do not take place at the same age or for, necessarily the same reasons. Added to this is the reality that not all with any form of narcissism will necessarily display or manifest that narcissism exactly the same as others. Even those who have varying degrees of narcissism are individuals. Narcissism in those with BPD arises from the core wound of abandonment.

It is also important to note that while narcissism is a common thread, to one degree or another, in all personality disorders. (MSN Encarta Encyclopedia) This should not see everyone with narcissism lumped into the definition of NPD. Those with NPD and BPD, while they may share some similarities are not one in the same either. (Masterson) (Lachkar)

There is also such a thing as healthy narcissism that also needs to not be confused with pathological or unhealthy narcissism. We must also take into consideration when dealing with anyone with narcissistic traits, that we also live in highly narcissistic cultures.

This also has an effect on our over-all perception of and experience with all that narcissism, across its continuum, in our daily lives. However, for those with BPD the intense degree to which they experience the narcissism of what is a direct result of the on-going impact of the core wound of abandonment - the lost self which creates the many Rock and A Hard Place situations that manifest the ever-shifting emotional dysregulation that is the emotional language and experience of the borderline false self that creates such emotional chaos, drama, and pain, for those with BPD and family members, partners or those with BPD - non borderlines - in relationships.

Not everything from everyone that has some narcissistic features to it means that someone has NPD or even BPD. Those who have personality disorders can benefit from professional diagnosis and treatment. However, it is important not to assign pathology to someone, without them being assessed by a professional.

In order to put NPD into perspective it is important to be aware that narcissism is, to one degree or another, a feature of all personality disorders. Narcissism, like the traits that define BPD are found in the general population and are human traits, is found in everyone as well (healthy narcissism).

Not unlike, those with NPD, in some ways, and to varying degrees, narcissism, in those with Borderline Personality Disorder is the function and the domain of the false self which you can read more about in my ebook, "The Shadows and Echoes of Self" that examines this and explains this in detail.

Narcissism, no matter from where on the spectrum, aside from being in the healthy realm, it originates is a major contributing factor to those who have these features, to one degree or another, having considerable and substantial difficulty building and maintaining healthy adult age-appropriate relationships. For those who are in or have ended relationships with people who fall somewhere on this continuum of narcissism the reality of the pain and damage experienced is significant and traumatic.

With a back-drop of an ever-proliferating culture of narcissism in many societies and cultures it may be too easy, equally erroneous, and not helpful to anyone if we lump everything together in attempts to find reasons for our negative and painful experiences and/or for all that goes wrong in very human attempts to relate, to understand each other, and to find our way in life.

© A.J. Mahari - March 1, 2007

A.J. Mahari is currently writing a memoir about her life and experience as a person who had two parents with Borderline Personality Disorder, as a person who was diagnosed herself with BPD at the age of 19 and from her perspective as someone who has recovered from BPD. There is a new section on her BPD Blog called The Diary - My Borderline Years where A.J. Mahari shares snipets of experience from her own life that is will give you just a taste of what her memoir will include.

Audio Program "Preparing For Recovery From BPD" Parts 1 & 2 by A.J. Mahari